Every day and every night, I think about you and I wonder how you’ve been and who you are with. I could have said the words and plunge you into more confusion but I didn’t. I stood beside you the whole time being that friend who you could talk to about everything. We would talk about everything and we didn’t worry about being judged. We would laugh over silly things and quarrel over little things. Somewhere in my heart, I was loving you and I just couldn’t say it. So, you went ahead and fell in love with someone else. These days you come around with stories of her and I listen and listen and listen till my heart breaks. I wish you could see through my fake smiles and realize how much I want to be the girl you want and the one who puts that smile on your face.
One day, she made you angry and it broke my heart to watch you hurt that bad. I wanted to go find her and tell her how much you loved her. She wouldn’t even believe me even if I laid my heart on the ground for her to walk on. We always fall for people who turn around and make us sad. That evening, while we talked about it and you suddenly began to relax around me. She was on your mind but you were sitting with me. Absent minded, you touched my face and said you wish you had fallen in love with me. I placed my hand over yours and said you will always have me. I guess it was the pain playing tricks on your mind. You kissed me and I didn’t try to stop it. One kiss and it all went wrong. We kissed for a while and the touches came along.
Yeah, the sex was perfect but the next morning you were gone. Back to her, the one you really wanted to be with. We couldn’t see each other anymore and I realized why people say sex ruins friendship. I miss my friend and I pray he misses me too. Maybe someday you’ll be back and I hope when you do, we will have an opportunity to start over as friends again. These are the memories of a friend who wants a second chance with someone who completes their life in ways words have failed to express.
…………Otunyo, Maryann
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